Written by Adam Horth

Earlier this week, a mentor of mine – and of hundreds of thousands of others – passed away. Denis Waitley was an inspirational speaker and acclaimed author whose teachings have left a lasting mark on countless lives.

I had the privilege of meeting Denis when he spoke at a seminar I attended in Sydney. Even at 84, he had the energy, clarity, and presence that had served him throughout his extraordinary life.

When I was 16, I met the man who would give me my first real job. Twenty-three years later, I still work with him – now as his business partner. Not long after we met, he handed me a copy of The Psychology of Motivation by Denis Waitley. It was a big, thick green book – and for someone who hadn’t read much up to that point, it looked like it might take a lifetime to finish.

It didn’t. In fact, if memory serves, I devoured it in a weekend. I was hooked by what Denis had written on those pages. That book – its messages and its lessons – without any exaggeration, changed my life. It sparked a passion for lifelong learning and gave me a deeper understanding of both myself and others.

With Denis’ passing, I wanted to share five lessons I’ve carried with me from his work. I hope they inspire and influence you as much as they did me.

1. Winners engage in Positive Self Talk

Denis always emphasised that the way we talk to ourselves really matters. Instead of giving ourselves uppercuts when things go wrong, give yourself a pep talk, like you would a mate. Examples of this might be, “I’ve got this”, “I’m making progress”, or “I believe in me”. That kind of self-talk keeps your mindset strong and your focus sharp.

 I always think about this when I identify something that I am not doing. Instead of berating myself, I think “if I’m already getting great results without this, imagine what I can achieve once I put this into action.”

2. What You Focus On, You Move Toward

In a nutshell, Denis taught me that your thoughts shape your life. If you're constantly thinking about what you want to achieve – and picturing yourself getting there – you’re way more likely to make it happen. Your brain starts to look for ways to turn that mental picture into reality.

2 weeks into my real estate career (when I was only 18), I handed my leader a business plan I’d put together for my own agency. It included my desired team size, office building type, location, and much more. In 8 short years after proving myself as a salesperson, we’d opened that office together – incredible!

3. Failure Isn’t the End – It’s Part of the Process

Failing doesn’t mean you’re done – it just means you’ve hit a bump. Waitley wants us to see failure like a detour, not a dead end. Each setback teaches you something and brings you one step closer to getting it right. It's part of the journey.

At 19, I was promoted to a full-time prospector for our office. In my first month, I only found 1 seller. 1! This was, by all accounts, an epic failure, and not one that I saw myself repeating. Learning from this experience, adjusting my actions and re-focusing my intentions, I went on to be recognised over the next two years as the best prospector in the country.

4. I am not a product of my surroundings; my surroundings are a product of me.

Waitley is big on taking responsibility. That means not blaming the economy, your leader, the market or plain bad luck. Own your choices and your results. When you do that, you’re in control – and that’s a powerful place to be.

It helps to remember that your life is simply the sum of all the choices and actions you have made to this point.

 5. Enjoy the Ride

Don’t wait to be happy until you hit the goal - enjoy the process of getting there. Denis Waitley introduced me to the concept that the reason we set goals is not only for their attainment, but for the journey we get to take on our way there. Life isn’t just about ticking boxes. If you find meaning and purpose in your work, you’ll be happier and more successful in the long run.

Thank you, Denis, for these lessons and so many others.